Friday, January 16, 2009

A Blank Call...

The Bus route…monginis…cyber café…tuition…PCO…a long walk…and the old memories flash…even more…

I know what you are thinking, ‘Short Term Memory loss’…it’s not that…but I take a part of the phrase, ‘Loss’…

Folks, I don’t know how to start this small write up…but all I could remember…someone…a very special person. It all started in the year 2004. but memories are still very fresh…can even feel the boos bums that I had when ever I used to see her coming for the tuitions, walking up the stairs…what a wait…indeed waited for that wait. The wait was just for about fifteen minutes…sometimes I used to arrive at the tuition much earlier than the class…just wanted to enjoy the waiting time…as the journey is much more enjoyable than the destiny. Then all of a sudden I could hear some footsteps, walking…but…its not her footsteps…don’t know how…but could make the difference of her footsteps from others…

It was about five minutes to the tuition time…the FOOTSTEPS…oh man! All of a sudden breathing rate is higher; an electrifying feeling…boos bums…there she comes…but at that moment, a sunk feeling…what after the tuition and she leaves for home…

In the class she used to sit, at a fixed particular seat, a corner first bench seat…I could have taken the seat next to her, but again had other plans…shall brief you about it later…

In the class I always tried to be very much attentive and hoped that she dint get the concept…had the wish and the intention of explaining her, the concept…after the class, not in the class…as I could spend more time, post tuition, over phone! That’s why I dint seat beside her…coz if I had, then she would have asked for the explanation from me at that time itself, thus reducing the time of togetherness. Sometimes I used to play pranks and give her some just too hard problems to solve…again when she used to ask me for the explanations…and I loved to give!

Can still remember the way, I took her contact number…that was fun, and would like to share it with u all…our tuition batch was of less strength, around 10-11. I dint have a cell at that time. So, what I did, brought a small telephone diary, and asked all the batch mates to get their contact numbers penned down in case of necessity…and got her number without a talk! I was least bothered with others number…but thing is that, still have a small writing by her, in her hands, in my diary…and guess what, I still have it! In this way, our friendship grew and never came to know, when it grew much more…never thought of!

After the tuitions, we used return together, till a destination, where upon I had to change my route. But the thing is that, I had a direct bus route from the tuition, but never availed it! We alternately used to purchase tickets for each other. After getting down from the bus, used to see off her, and used to wait at the bus stop till the time the bus was in my vicinity.

This was something that happened for at least thrice a week.

There were plenty of other incidences, which I did at that time without thinking whether it was judicious for me to do it! Making calls to her everyday from home was not possible for me, so used to go to PCO and make calls at least twice daily and for about half and hour to quarter an hour. I dint think much about what she used to think when I used to make calls form the PCO, but now I can make that the calls were like some kind of vibes! Now the question that’ arises, how come I could get so much of money everyday to make calls. I used to get a daily allowance for food, which I used to save, for these moments.

One day, we went to a cyber café…An E-Card from her for HOLI! That was a very happy day for me, coz that’s my first E-Card, and that too from her! That day itself she told me in the café how to use a yahoo messenger, so after that I became a net freak, the reason quite obvious, we both online!

Hmmm, oh, how can I forget that day! One day, I arrived at the tuition early just to see that the class has been called off…and that she too arrived early. So, from there we took a long walk, may be about an hour, down the lane…after that we took an auto from there, she sitting beside me, she holding the upper metal bar, and the wind gushing in…letting her hair fall on my face…that was the best part of the journey, no doubt.

This all continued till March 2005, when I conveyed her my feelings, I was totally confused, how to tell her, never did I tell anybody like that before, I don’t even remember how I conveyed, but all I can remember is that, it was very messy!…And guess what’s the best part, she dint have the same feeling which I had, and it took her about a week to tell me that! I dint ask her why neither did enforce her…coz I respect her feelings…but the loneliness after that was just immense, beyond tolerable, may be I was very immature…may be my proposal was not upto the mark…..

After that I reduced all the sort of contacts….Phone calls reduced drastically…but I failed to understand that reducing all sort of contacts has nothing to do with all the memories that we had, coudnt erase it from mind…its 2009...still cant forget her and the time we spent together, the chocolate cup cake that we had together at the monginis, the walk through a small playing ground that we used to take while returning, the calls that I used make when ever she was late for the tuitions…was just crazy to hear her voice over phone…every year I thought of NOT wishing her on her b’day, made promises to myself, but don’t know what happens, I make the class at twelve in the night, no matter where I am, this year too made the call while I was in a movie hall for a late night show… Sometimes I prefer to stay alone, totally alone looking at the past…Make blank calls just to hear her voice…its still the same…and makes me crazy!

Just want to convey a simple message…Miss you lady and Love u a lot!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The First Three Weeks @ IFMR

Vanakam...
Seeing back the 3 weeks am here, at 24 Kothari Road, placed among the posh localities of Chennai, at Nungumbakkam…at IFMR…rejuvenated again from the all the work load…just trying my hand briefing my little experience…

A perfect day to start will be something like getting up at 4 in the dawn, getting refreshed and start studying…keeping up to expectations of all…and perform better to best with high hopes…and all the ‘goodie goodie’ words…
But its quite different for me…

Day starts at 8 or even late…getting ready…with shirt tucked in…all set ready for breakfast followed by the classes…

With excellent good faculty, classes at IFMR are very interesting, sometimes learning extremely tough concepts…but sometimes work load taking its toll on me…I manage to continue the classes till 1. But luck running out on some days when there are post lunch sessions…it becomes extremely tough for me to keep my ‘shutters’ on… At last the classes come to an end at around 4 in the evening…grey cells all saturated…

Back from the classes, with a brief time to spare and with impounding work and studies, it is really a pleasure to wake till atleast 3…Cuko to give sweet alarms every hour of night starting around half past 1…really a ‘Silence Breaking’ session…

Oh….how not to mention the ‘Ice Breaking Sessions’…it was(hope it has ended) a very interactive experience for me…barring a few late night sessions…seniors really came close…well appreciated by all…the best being with the drama session…and also switching off the mobile with eyes closed…legs and arms raised…as if ‘Moon Bhangra’…

Friends are always a part of ‘success’ journeys…not an exception here…with a batch strength of around 85…the class really acts as a close unit…with a new CRs leading the roles in their respective departments… the best part of our batch is that it is well integrated with people coming from varying disciplines…and some too extremes to my imagination…

With all the efforts to clear up study lag and learning the art of preparing fine presentations, life really moves too fast…hours blink by...days fly by…trimesters always at your door thumping hard with a frowning face…program of two years seems to get completed in 2 months…

With a bit mixed experience at IFMR, life is really good and enjoyable…provided one can make time out…but again I find some contingent events weird to my thoughts…So I leave you with a statement to comment upon…

'Do we ever look back at the steps that have been a part of our journey, giving support to the risk of taking the next step? May be the hunger for looking forward has made us forget it…’

Life of a First bencher!

Scene 1: Its 8:30 in the morning, my roomies n me all still in their dreams of well suited manager and glued to their bed as if a Sunday morning waiting for a room service of continental breakfast…still could’nt come out of last days hang over…suddenly realizing that its just the middle of the week…atleast 3 days away from a week end…’Oh My God!’ Its 8:35 in the morning, just 25 min to go for the first class…now its another decision…may the toughest decision for a manager…which one to choose… classroom or washroom?
Bt I played safe


Scene 2:
Grabbing the dhosa like a chicken role…stuffed as much as it can be…hurrying through the red tiles of the campus…its 9:05…hoping against all the odds…hurrying over the stairs better than Olympics gold medalist…finally reached…‘The Bhagirathi Hall’… Micro Sir already with his graphical expressions…Just squeezed in my chair…1st row…couldn’t make out what the hell is going on…Then seeing the projector…its an ‘Indifferent Curve’…but my eyes quite indifferent to it closes itself frequently…just to taste a sweetness……….
Suddenly feeling the presence of someone in front…heads down, eyes blossoms again, sir in front with an explanation to someone’s unique query…my head starts nodding as if knowing the answer before hand….

Scene 3:
1st interval of the 1st period…stretching myself…yaaaaaawning…bigger than the ‘Use Me’…as if the only break of the movie ‘Kanchanjonga’…desperately needing a face wash…But of no use…the period goes on and my yawning…both as if ‘Complementary Goods’ like ‘Left nd Right Shoes’ sometimes shamelessly…thinking of the cartoon ‘Tom & Jerry’ where tom desperately needing a bed to fall upon…uuuuufffff

Scene 4: The best part has just come…with a new CR efficiently making an announcement of an extra class in the afternoon session of such a subject that just adds a pillow to slumber…Oh my God! Desperately needing the lunch break for mornings bath…waiting for the 1PM stand…at last it comes…shouldering my new laptop…striding for the hostel with a post pone lunch (Unusually)…

Scene 5: After munching the lunch, with most displeasure, heading again towards Hall, this time determined not to dose again…reached the class…within 10 minutes class gets filled…along with the resp prof…with renewed vigor eyes widely opened…trying utmost to understand a ‘System’…and also analyzing it…with an ‘ICICI bank’ example being audible…trying to gather as much ‘Information’ to ‘Manage’ it….But suddenly I could feel a System fault in me…eyes closed again …my information system unmanageable, collapsing…zzzzzz!!!


I leave you with question to comment upon…
Why are there first benches??? Zzzzz!!!!.....